Dear Daddy, I can hear you…

It has been a year. Your maracas sit on the piano. Silence. Your dominoes lay quietly in their wooden cocoon. Your pictures smile at us daily. Silence. I talk to you. Silence. In the silence, I can hear you.

During this year, Miranda has begun her senior and final year of high school. I can hear you say, “Wow…how time flies.” During this year, Tony has become a property manager and thriving in his new role. I can hear you say, ” That is great Tony. Buy me a beer!” During this year, Brianna is finishing her second year of Nuke school in the Navy. I can hear you say, ” Coño! I was in the Navy…does she wear the white suit or the blue suit?” During the year, I finished my first year towards my PhD.  I can hear you say, “Missy, your mother would be proud.” During the year, we lost Derek, only 4 months after you left us. I can hear you say,” You should have seen your mother when he got here to Heaven. She dropped me like a hot potato.”

Daddy, it has been a year. Ups. Downs. Successes. Failures. Love. Loss. Tears. Joy. Memories. A lifetime, wrapped up in a year that has challenged and strengthened our family. The sting of loss written all over our faces. When I was born, you wanted to name me Dawn (still not sure why) but momma over rode that decision and I was christened with the name Mellissa. Of course the double LL means I can never find my name spelled correctly but that came in handy the day I lost my name bracelet (another blog).  No matter the spelling, the meaning of my name carries the same significance.

According to nameberry.com

“Melissa derives from the Greek word mélissa, meaning “bee,” which was taken from the word for honey, meli. In Greek mythology, Melissa was a nymph who nursed the infant god Zeus with honey. Melissa was used as a given name by the early Greeks, as well as for fairies by Italian Renaissance poets.”

Why does this matter? The day of your services, Tia Yoly ordered a beautiful arrangement of patriotic flowers. The flowers did not arrive. I watched your sister break down because her tribute to you was in jeopardy. In true fashion, our cousin Nanette moved into action. With minutes to spare, the beautiful red, white and blue heart arrived in all its glory to stand watch over you.  As we admired your flowers, we heard a faint buzz. A single, honey bee took her last treasures from your bouquet, danced around me and flew way.

At that moment, in the silence, I knew you were there.

In your silence, I heard you Daddy.

Love, Mellissa (honeybee)